There’s a thud…

There’s a thud that hits my chest at times like these.  It’s heavy and still.  Lonely.  I’m not sure anyone who hasn’t experienced it before would know it’s chorus but for those of us who have, it is a familiar tune.  A breath does little to lift it.  Weighted down by the dread, I’m unable to move and free myself from its claws.  Tear(s) form.  Release.  I try to breathe.  I tell myself I’m not powerless, but the words fall flat my tongue thick- the sound rote. What will it take to shake it off,  return to a previous state of being, to rise up above the clatter of such a familiar refrain?  The question squeezes me and I linger there to find my breath,  my feet, my voice,  and remind myself  I’m powerless no more.


-Holly Suzanne 2012


7 thoughts on “There’s a thud…”

  1. that’s powerful, and the heavy repeat reminds me of “the howls” 😦
    …this too shall pass…
    (but glad you’re able to create in it so powerfully – and i’ll admit, creepily a little – to me) 🙂

    1. It seems that when places such as these are stumbled upon in life, they somehow connect with other such experiences flowing into a pool of sorrow.

      I know the drawing is creepy. It is uncomfortable for me to look at as well, but really tells the story of victimization. It wouldn’t be fair to ignore it, but it was hard to post.

  2. Art is amazing… Like a river flowing in our soul… sometimes with the melting snows from the mountains and sometimes like a death sea… but in any case it is there like a river we are drifting…. It was interesting work but to be honest it is, I mean your writing much more impressive in here. Thanks and Love, nia

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